1/4 Order 3/4 Chaos


Marina Abramovic meets Ulay

“Marina Abramovic and Ulay started an intense love story in the 70s, performing art out of the van they lived in. When they felt the relationship had run its course, they decided to walk the Great Wall of China, each from one end, meeting for one last big hug in the middle and never seeing each other again. at her 2010 MoMa retrospective Marina performed ‘The Artist Is Present’ as part of the show, a minute of silence with each stranger who sat in front of her. Ulay arrived without her knowing it and this is what happened.”

My Girlfriend is a Vampire

So, for the past two weeks I have been seeing this girl who is also a vampire. We met through our mutual friend, Isaac, who is also a vampire. Where I am from all the vampires, the two dozen or so, all congregate at the same place. Most of them call it a coven, but it’s more of a “vampire recreational group”. Isaac brought me to one of their gatherings and for the most part I got along just fine, but this on girl and I just were at each other’s throats all night – her probably more literally than mine. We just kept butting heads on a variety of subjects: from philosophy to modern music. By the end of the night I was just about done with her until she mentioned one of my favorite quotes from T.S. Elliot, “Do I dare disturb the Universe?” Well, from that moment on she became less irritating and more charming.

            Over the next few weeks I started to see her more and more; not that I was actively looking for her, but we would run into each other every so often. Our conversation became more and more elaborate over time, which made me see this lovely beauty about her that became very alluring. So, one night after having on and off conversations she shows up at my door in tears. At first, I have to admit, I was slightly concerned because I didn’t think we were at that level of unannounced visits, but the fact of the matter was I wasn’t gonna turn her away. Now of course once you invite a vampire into your house they can enter whenever they so choose, unless you want to go through all the hassle to magical rescind your invitation, but take it from me it’s a hassle.

            I sat her down on my couch and we talked about a subject that was a surprise to me: the subject of me. She came over to tell me she liked me, which blew my mind because this kind of thing never happens to me, but she was afraid that I would not reciprocate any feelings to her because of her past. Although most modern day vampires try to be somewhat discreet about going out for blood, most of their pasts are drenched in carnage and unpleasantries.  Hers was no different. She is 102 years old and that’s a long time to process.

            At first I was shocked she had feelings for me, but that switched to this small smile because we all have done terrible things in our pasts. I’m no angel either, and honestly if you were to compare the sins between us I think we would come out about even. I wiped away the tears and confessed my own feelings for her. We kissed for the first time that night. Now I had a few concerns that we needed to hatch out before I would take this relationship to any official status. So, after several hours, and numerous make out breaks, we finally came to an agreement. I would be her blood source; meaning she would only bite and drink from me.  This worked out well for the both of us because she felt that it made our relationship more intimate and we both felt that we didn’t have to worry about some weird “cheating” line she made cross in pursuit of a drink.

            Now I haven’t told any of my friends or family because well I’m pretty sure they won’t understand, nor would they be able to handle this sudden reality shift that the supernatural world exists.  I, myself, am a magic practitioner, so I can heal any bites she gives me, as to not draw any unwanted questions. We worked it out that she could drink from me every other day, and also that way she can spend the day with me because we are both night owls. So, for the past two weeks I have been seeing this girl who is also a vampire, and so far things are good. 


I remember watching this episode and totally be like that


I remember watching this episode and totally be like that